Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Drunk is not a location!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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