Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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