White coat. Heels.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
