I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
