Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
