I'm lost and stupid without you.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
