at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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