That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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