I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
