What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
