Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
