1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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