Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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