she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
