May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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