I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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