508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I need moral support for this bender
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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