so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
