god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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