I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Randomize
