Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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