The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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