it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
