there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
