Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i out mim tonsoeep
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
