Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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