I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
