He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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