Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude i'm inner monologue high
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
