it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
