Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm always down for nudity.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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