I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
