Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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