it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have aggressive nipples.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
