Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
