Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Naked Twister starts at high noon
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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