I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
