Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
