Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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