last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
