i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
