And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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