I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
