Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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