just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
