Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
