Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
