Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
