What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
