two words: eviction party
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
