South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Randomize
