i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
where are my eyebrows?
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