He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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