we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
