Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
